40% of people would have sex with a robot, study exclaims | ZDNet

I’m sorry. Really not my type.


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You never know until you’ve tried it. That’s how, so many times, I’ve been talked into doing things I felt sure I wouldn’t enjoy.

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I was wrong around 40% of the time — this is an estimate I’ve pulled from figments of my imagination. Though I feel sure, I’ve been enticed into this approximation by a new study that lay down across my screen and whispered sweet somethings.

Emerging from the enterprise of chatbot Tidio — slogan: “a better way to communicate with customers” — this study of more than 1,200 people offered a fascinating view of the future. Or, more precisely, a fascinating view of other people’s view of the future.

Some of it feels depressingly familiar.

69% of college graduates worry that AI will take their jobs or make them irrelevant. If AI was truly intelligent, wiser heads insist it really isn’t; it would immediately replace those jobs with something better.

These fine respondents believed that cashiers, drivers and translators had most to fear.

One assumes, therefore, that there weren’t too many cashiers, drivers and translators among the respondents because 45% claim to have a positive view of AI taking control of the economy. I’m sure that only the finest economic minds will program particular AI. They always do such an excellent job.

A majority of these fine human subjects were happy to have AI take over air traffic control and driving them to their destination through traffic.

Oddly, however, many don’t seem to mind if the robots are abused. 32% said, oh, please, let’s not worry about robot rights. Wait, only 32%? What are the rest thinking?

I’ll tell you what many of them might be thinking. More than 40% of them think it would be a fine idea to have sex with a robot. A humanoid robot that is — I don’t wish to offer any logistical description of what this sort of sex might entail.

I can tell you, however, that for a finely-tuned 3% of these people, it would only be a one-night stand. Or perhaps a beings-with-benefits arrangement. You see, a mere 39% — wait, a staggering 39% — believe they could have a romantic relationship with a robot.

Well, some boys do seem remarkably attached to trains, so I suppose this is mere human progression… of a kind.

It would be remiss not to add that there’s a certain skew here. A hearty 48% of the men in this survey were prepared to have sex with a robot. However, the women, not quite so much.

I’d like to draw a deep, meaningful conclusion from this study. I’d like to suggest that perhaps our time as a reproductive species may be coming to a close. Or, perhaps, that too much technology has already been added to the human brain, making it beyond repair.

I’m not that deep, however.

Instead, let me suggest that perhaps one of the jobs that will be ascendant in the near future will be a sexbot maintenance engineer.

Those pleasure-giving robots will surely be too exhausted to fix themselves.